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Old Fart

Old Fart
Back Pain
You have heard of the viscous street gangs the "blood"s and the "crips." Well there is a new, even worse, street gang. The" AARP’s." They are starting to pop up in some quiet suburban neighborhoods all around the country. The police are beginning to get a lot of complaints about small groups of 50+ year old men causing disturbances. Sometimes as late as 7:30 or 8:00 pm on a school night, no less, these men can be seen hanging out on the corner. They are usually sipping expensive scotch whiskey while discussing which medications they are now on and which is better, Cialis or Viagra. They complain about back pain, being bald, and having to wear reading glasses and pants with elastic waste bands.They worry about high cholesterol, cataracts, and colonoscopies. Sometimes they drift off to better days and talk about athletic achievements, a former pant size, or even boast about how good (they think) they used to be in bed. This usually leads to everyone agreeing that things in general where much better in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s. Maybe they are right.

For those of you in other parts of the world. AARP stands for the American Association of Retired Persons. Two weeks ago I received my card in the mail. You become eligible to join at the age of 50, which I will be in a couple of days. However, I am nowhere near being close to being able to retire.

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